do you write thank you notes?
I wrote a bunch of thank you notes right after Truman was born, to lots of mamas who write for this blog, and others who read it. I think I may have given out one. I was awful. I wrote about that today on Blogging Baby, and guess what? No one gives me a break. They all say that handwritten thank-yous are still mandatory (and some of them weren't exactly kind about it).
So let's say I thank you publically for something on my blog. Does that not make you feel all warm and fuzzy? Or do you require handwritten (and DELIVERED) confirmation of my gratitude? Am I just being hella lazy? What do you think? (And trust me, you can't get under my skin any more than some of the not-yet-confirmed commenters from Blogging Baby do, so have at it :)
i fear i started this whole ball of wax by responding to that comment in your first post about the birthday parties. sorry about that!!! i hate that people aren't replying to your new post in a kind manner.
but i do feel that thank you notes are almost always a necessary thing to send. i mean, sure, i rarely send them to my parents/siblings or to my closest (in-town) friends. but if it's someone from out of town who sends a gift, or someone who really went above and beyond, yes, i do think a hand written note is still important. plus it's always such a treat to get something other than junk mail and bills in the mailbox.
that said, hallmark e-cards can be a suitable quick substitute in certain cases! i have definitely sent those to co-workers after birthday lunches and the like.
Posted by: jj | January 26, 2006 at 07:51 PM
and i'd like to add that as much as i believe in the importance of thank-you notes, i'm certainly not always able to get them out in a timely fashion. in fact, this recent discussion made me realize that i've only gotten a few from christmas mailed out so far, so i'm sitting here finishing them up tonight. so thanks for bringing it up and lighting a fire under my ass :)
Posted by: jj | January 26, 2006 at 07:54 PM
Hi Sarah,
I was just reading the Blogging Baby comments you received on this post. Sorry, but I agree that Thank You notes should still be sent when possible. I don't get bent out of shape if I don't receive one for a gift given, but I cannot let a gift go un-thanked (with a handwritten note) if it comes to our house. Maybe it's because I have a love affair with all things from Paper Zone? Maybe because I'm a stickler for manners/etiquette no matter how old-fashioned they may seem today? Maybe because I secretly love everything Martha Stewart (I have to make all my own cards)? It's probably because like JJ says, it's nice to get something other than junk or bills in the mail. Anyway, I think they still need to be sent but do whatever is right for you.
Posted by: Cherl | January 26, 2006 at 08:04 PM
Thank you notes are a MUST in my book, too. To me, it's up there with paying back money. Even for little things. I usually try to have blank stationary on hand all the time for that kind of stuff. I think its just nice to do.
Posted by: Cityslicker mom | January 26, 2006 at 08:45 PM
My vote is for hand-written notes as well. The nice thing about being a new Mom is that you get cut a bit of slack on the timeliness of said thank you notes.
A note recieved in the mail is something you can touch, means someone took the time to pick out a card that reflected their gratitude. To me, it's sorta classy.
Posted by: Monica Colby | January 26, 2006 at 08:53 PM
Sorry Sarah, but I LOVE thank you notes. This should be no surprise since I design stationery and advise people on event etiquette for a living now (and, ironically, did Thank You note tips in my last newsletter!). I really do think it's a nice gesture to give a handwritten thank you note in an age where so much of our correspondence consists of tap, tap, tapping on they keyboard quick BTW, LOL, IMO, LMAO-- shortened versions of what are essentially impersonal passer by remarks. Thank you notes are sweet reminders to people that you care for them enough to take the time to sit down, write out your thankful thoughts in your own penmanship and not an impersonal email, blog post, text message or IM, and actually seal the envelope, put a stamp on it, and mail it. When someone sends me a thank you note, I appreciate it more than I can say. Thank you notes are right up there with always saying my Please and Thank Yous for everything--they're a given. But this is just me. I can be a sap about little gestures of treasured friendships and manners.
Posted by: Marlynn | January 26, 2006 at 09:11 PM
I'm a bit lax on the handwritten thank you notes as well. Doesn't mean I don't try! As with Sarah, I still have thank you notes that I have written out but haven't sent. I think some people don't have it in them to be timely with the thank you cards. It's not that they're rude. I send thank you emails and thank you posts and the family and friends seem to over look the fact that they didn't get a handwritten card. However, for Joe's grandma and relatives from the nether parts of the country, we do try to send thank you cards (and I make Joe write out the ones for gifts from his relatives). Speaking of cards, I still have Cole's birth announcement and our family picture that I've been meaning to give you, Sarah.
Posted by: hau | January 26, 2006 at 09:16 PM
Wow! Personally, an electronic (or phoned) thank you is more than fine but it seems that many think that a snail-mail note is necessary, a good thing for me to know!
I do send some notes (to certain older folks in our lives) and I when I do, I get the kiddo involved. A handprint or 'original work' on card stock seems much more personal than a prefab card. Then I ask my daughter what she likes about the gift and quote her in the thanks (seems she is the only one getting gifts these days!). It's a thank you note and craft project in one! Guess I'll have to be doing this than I have, especially since the girlie's birthday is coming up!
Posted by: Amy | January 27, 2006 at 10:43 AM
I think hand-written notes are great, too, and I love to get them. BUT...I am an extremely disorganized person who has always been bad at this, even before kids. Post-kids? Fuggedaboudit.
In my opinion, when I give a gift to someone with kids, that's the end of the story. If I get a thank you note, I'm pleasantly surprised. But I sure don't expect or require it. I'm happy to get an email or a verbal "thank you," or even nothing. (As far as I'm concerned, parents don't need one more thing to remember or do.)
Older folks expect thank you cards, I know. But I expect those young enough to remember life with kids to cut some slack to other parents who already have more than enough on their/our plates. Some days (weeks, months, years) it's all about survival!
Posted by: ShariMac | January 27, 2006 at 04:36 PM
I agree that if you thank the gift-giver in person, no note is necessary. I was not raised with a thank you note tradition. As far as I know, my parents have never written a thank you note. When I became an adult I realized that so many people expect thank you cards and consider it bad manners not to send one, so now I usually send a handwritten note.
I don't usually expect a handwritten note from someone, UNLESS it's a wedding gift. For some reason that just seems like law, sending a thank you note for wedding gifts. With baby gifts, I figure the person receiving it probably has their hands full and I don't begrudge them.
I think that giving thanks is important, but the form (letter, email, verbal) is not important.
Posted by: beth | January 27, 2006 at 07:19 PM
I think it's important, classy, and all that, but just can't get it together enough to do it. Fionn's b-day, Christmas, Rowan's birth, and TONS of gifts and dinners from friends and preschool parents...from November 26 through today, I am behind by at least 100 thank you cards, and 30 or so "hard copy" birth announcements for those not online. I thank folks whenever I can in person, and make phone calls, but I'm just not willing to add something else to the list of things that make me feel inadequate. (not a stay at home mom, too much TV in our house, haven't started that college fund yet, or gotten life insurance in place...) Think I'll give myself a break on the handwritten thank you notes.
Posted by: Fionasnana | January 27, 2006 at 10:11 PM