WEEKEND WARRIORS: July 10-12

We won't list them every weekend, but don't forget about our weekly favorites...ladybug walks, story & a stroll, and the Jr. Ranger program out at Tryon Creek. And even though it's a bit of a drive, we had to mention that the Oregon Country Fair is this weekend near Eugene.

Friday

Itty Bitty Beach Party: Splishy-splashy fun for the youngest set (6 months-6 years). Water parade, fishing pond, penny hunts, splash contests, and more. Adults are 4$, kids are $2.50 (under 2 are free). Dishman Pool (77 NE Knott) 2:00-1:30 pm

Time Out: The Mother of All Comedies: If you're looking for some time away from the kids, you might check out this hit comedy series starring stand-up mom Jacki Kane. Each month, a number of moms present humorous monologues about various aspects of being a parent and a mother. This month, "Dad's Revenge."  $12 at the door or $10 in advance at Brown Paper Tickets. 7:00 pm.

Fernhill Park Neighborhood Concert: Tony Furtado (Contemporary Americana). Food Vendors will include Aladdin's Café, Hot Dog Ernie's, Mountain Ice, Nepo 42, Woodlawn Coffee and Pastry. Fernhill Park (37th, North of Ainsworth), 6:30 pm.

Saturday

New Seasons Ice Cream Tasting: I scream, you scream...especially when it's the tasty organic kind and free! Try soy, hemp, and coconut milk ice creams too.  All stores, 11:00 am-5:00 pm.

Mississippi Street Fair: Fun!!! Music, kids activities (think bouncy castles and games), and food galore. Kids parade starts at noon. Lorna Miller's Little Kids' Jamboree is scheduled at Mississippi Pizza, 12:00 pm. Mississippi Ave between Freemont and Skidmore.See website for schedule of events. 10:00 am-9:00 pm.

Making Pirate Maps: Argh! Artist Sarah Ferguson shows you how to create a pirate map. North Portland Library (512 N. Killingsworth), 11:00 am-1:00 pm.

Set Sail!: A High Seas Adventure on the Creativity Cruise Line. Join Captain Curt for a high seas adventure in creativity this summer. The activities director has lined up tons of fun activities for this cruise – amazing tricks, hilarious puppets, and tons and tons of audience participation. Belmont Library (1038 SE 39th Avenue), 3:00-3:45 pm.

Family Music & Movie in the Park: Bring blankets and chairs and enjoy some free summer entertainment.  Music from 6:00 pm-dusk.  The movie is SpaceJam.  Pier Park 6:00 pm.

Sunday

Itty Bitty Beach Party: See Friday,  Sellwood Pool (7951 SE 7th), 11:30 am-1:00 pm.

Forest Music:  Enjoy beautiful music surrounded by the lush greenery of Tryon Creek. This week hear the sounds of the Westside Singers (showtunes & 40's favorites), Tryon Creek State Park, 2:00 pm.

Ideas for Entertaining the Nieces

Entertaining guests can be a lot of fun, but what if you're guests are used to the good life?  One of our readers would like some advice on entertaining her nieces.  She writes:

My brother and his family live in the midwest. My two nieces are seven and nine and to be honest, I've never established much of a relationship with them. Of course a big reason for this is distance but it's also due to the nature of my sister-in-laws parenting style. Both she and my brother are extremely overprotective (read neurotic) and when the girls were little, their parents would never really allow us do things with them alone or get to know them in a meaningful way. As long as the parents were around...well, you get the idea.

So my brother's family will be here for a two week vacation this summer. I really want to make the effort to get to know the girls and establish my own relationship with them. I want to plan a day to take them out just the three of us. Here's my question: these are girls who live very very privileged lives in terms of the kinds of toys/gifts they get and the places they go.

I'd like to come up with a fun idea of what to do without spending a lot of money. They love, love love animals and arts/crafts.

BTW, I'm not the most "creative" when it comes to kids activities (including activities with my own child).

Save the date: urbanMamas is havin' a garage sale

Every summer I look forward (yes, it's true) to Portland's neighborhood garage sales because there's so much great used stuff in one place.  Well, if real neighborhoods can hold such great garage sales, why not our virtual neighborhood?  Plus, this one has an excellent twist: it's a benefit. 

Here's how it works: you donate all that stuff you just don't need anymore and we sell it.  Proceeds will be donated to Family Forward Oregon, a budding non-profit that is likely to benefit all Oregon mamas (and papas) in the years to come. 

• When?  Saturday, August 22nd from 9 till 3
  Where?  Cafe Au Play's excellent parking lot on SE Division & 58th, just across from Atkinson Elementary
• What: Your donated stuff for sale 
• Help! You can donate stuff (save it till August or drop it at one of our drop houses sooner), work the sale, or bake for the inevitable kid-run lemonade stand (or all of the above!)
• Questions?  Leave a comment here and we'll reply, or get in touch directly: activistas@gmail.om

This is just a heads up so you can plan to donate, bake and/or shop.  And of course, help us spread the word in the meantime.  As the date nears we'll provide more details. 

[Thanks to Von Floto & Flickr CC for the plastic sale pic]

What Would You Have Done? Child Rides in Mama's Lap

I don't think any of my kids were fond of the car seat in the early stages of life. One of our readers recently had a falling out with a family member over letting a her child ride on her lap.  She wants your advice and writes:

I know that many of us mamas have found ourselves in a situation where our child is inconsolably upset in the car seat, screaming, crying, kicking and even to the point of puking at times.  Just writing about it and remembering my first child’s sheer hatred of the car seat makes my skin crawl.  Despite those tortuous feelings, I never considered removing my son from his seat while the car was moving.  Recently I had relatives visiting and to my shock and horror, when their one year old son became upset, his Mom simply unbuckled him and seated him on her lap.  I found myself in a moral dilemma about whether to speak out about what I saw as an extremely unsafe choice, knowing it could have huge implications for our relationship, or just ignore it.  In the end I tried to gently inquire about my safety concern and it unleashed a fury of emotion, resulting in an abrupt end to the visit and a huge rift in our relationship.  After all that I’m not convinced that my speaking out will have any impact on their future car seat decisions and we’re no longer on speaking terms because of it.  Was it worth it?  I’d like to think so, but I’m not sure.  What would you have done?

Emotional Transition from Infancy to Toddlerhood

It's so cliched, but kids do grow up so quickly.  And how many times have we all heard mamas with grown children look fondly at our little infants as they remember that special stage in a child's life?  Betsy emailed us recently to see if any urbanMama's have any advice regarding the sadness she's experiencing as her youngest transitions from infancy to toddlerhood.  She writes:

I have a nearly-three-year-old daughter Kaia and a just-turned-one-year-old daughter Elliot.  When Elliot turned one this year, I felt and continue to feel a huge sadness that she is no longer an infant.  I also realized that Kaia is fast growing up and I can hardly remember her time as a baby anymore.  With both girls, I am experiencing these feelings of mourning (?) - Loss for a time in their lives that I can’t have back and I can’t seem to move past the feelings.  I see the amazing ways they are growing and becoming beautiful human beings and I celebrate each new thing they try and accomplish but these feelings of sadness are putting up stiff competition.  I am trying to allow myself room for my emotions – acknowledging and accepting them.  This is proving to be a very difficult time for me.  I wonder how other mom’s handle this emotional transition from infancy to toddler.

Help! I Hate My Ergo

We've had plenty of discussions on slings and baby carriers on urbanMamas, but could it be that it isn't for everyone?  And what do you do when you've tried plenty of variations and they still don't seem to work? Jane emails us with this question:

I hate my Ergo, is that okay for me to say?! It rubs on the back of my arms and feels awful. Like a bra strap that keeps falling down only worse. I wish I loved it like everyone else does. If I have my son on my back we get along just fine, i my six month old daughter is on the front I am going crazy. I have a Moby, a Chicpapoose, a Baby Bijorn, and a Kangaroo Korner. Plenty to choose from you would think. But with the heat and her getting heavier I turn to the Ergo. I don't think of myself as petite and wouldn't describe my shoulders as anything less than normal width. Could I be doing something wrong or do I need to try out yet another sling/carrier?

Michael Pollan on feeding children

I've long subscribed to a variant of the theories out of Take the Fight Out of Food, an excellent book I recommend to those who are suffering from food issues. While I don't always execute my theories quite as they're devised in the ideal parenting lab that is my brain (ahh, if only I could be the perfect mama I have designed there!), they've been working pretty well for me. Essentially, the concept is to present a variety of healthful food options, and occasional treats, constantly expose your children to new foods, but never make a big deal out of what they actually eat. Don't set up "good" and "bad" foods; use words more along the lines of "foods that make your taste buds happy" and describe the physical benefits of other foods; protein gives you strength and makes your brain work better, etc. (And along the lines of our sweets conversation, Donna Fish, the author, has a great post on how to handle dessert battles here.)

So I was thrilled to read this interview with Michael Pollan, one of my writerly food heroes, about his now-16-year-old son and his past food issues. He was a "white food eater" when he was young; he'd eat chicken, potatoes, bread, rice, and nothing else. Upon reflection, Pollan believed this was due to his need to reduce sensory input (he doesn't say it, but I wonder if the boy was diagnosed with a sensory integration disorder). In fact, it was his son's "tortured" relationship with food that got him interested in writing about it.

About two years ago, Pollan's son began to suddenly expand his food repertoire, and after working in a kitchen for a summer began cooking seriously, and is now a "food snob" who makes a port wine reduction to go with the grass-fed steak his dad cooks for dinner. (I can only dream.)

It's a relief to a mama like me.

Family Forward Oregon: It's Here

Did you know that motherhood is the single greatest predictor of poverty in old age?  Or that the wage gap between mothers and childless women is now greater than the gap between men and women?  Startling facts that, to me, show a gap between what we say about valuing the work of child-raising and actually valuing it. 

The idea of valuing parents and caregiving is what prompted a few Activistas to kick it up a notch!  So, we're excited to announce the creation of a new, local nonprofit called Family Forward Oregon.  Their mission?  "Inspiring workplaces, communities and policies that value families." 

Family Forward Oregon begins with the basic premise that our workplace and government policies lag far behind the reality in which most families live.  Namely, policies are still built on the assumption that one parent is home full-time with kids.  Obviously this doesn't account for all the co-parenting, single-parenting, and extended family parenting that really goes on.  It also doesn't account for the fact that in most families both parents work outside the home.  And it definitely doesn't account for the fact that most of us (parents and non-parents alike) desperately want some work/family balance.

It's time to value the work of caring for each other.  It's time to end the economic insecurity associated with motherhood.  It's time to develop communities where families can thrive. 

Family Forward Oregon will work to bring our workplaces, communities, and policies forward.  They are creating a movement - and asking you to join them. 

Get involved.  They will be presenting their ideas and soliciting your feedback on a family forward agenda at next week's Social Innovation Forum (hosted by Springboard Innovation). 

Your feedback is essential to creating change for all Oregon's families.  Please come and tell us what you think about where we need to go from here! 

Join us to shape this movement:

Social Innovation Forum on Family Forward Oregon
When: July 8th, 2009 6-9 pm (light dinner provided)
Where: Urban Grind NE (NE 22nd & Oregon St)

Riding with a new solo bike rider

Oh bike-loving mamas!  So, there are bike trailers, bike seats, tag-alongs/trail-a-bikes, and - of course - the Xtracycles.  However, there will come a day when we will no longer be hauling our children on the bikes, for they will be riding their own!  Has your child made the hop from being hauled to pedaling on his/her own bike?  How have you handled riding on the roads with the newest of the biking batch?  An urbanMama recently emailed:

I am looking for tips about transitioning to biking alongside your child.  Our 5yo daughter has recently shed the training wheels, and so we're biking more places together, with her on her bike and me on mine.  She's very cautious, so I don't have to worry too much about her veering into traffic or bumping into anyone, but I still am unsure about some things.  I'm sort of afraid, e.g., to ride in the bike lane, but riding on the sidewalk when there aren't curb cuts is a huge pain.  Also, is it safer to ride with her in front of me, or to have her follow me?  I'm sure many of these things I'll just figure out with practice, but I was interested in tips from those who bike with their kids as a way of getting started.

'Brain, Child' salon pdx: Summer 2009

Several months ago, a Brain, Child discussion group was hastily thrown together and ended up a (small) series of one-on-one conversations. But as soon as I picked up this season's issue, I was longing to talk to someone about it. So this time, we're doing it right, with two weeks advance notice (ish) and a proper location selected ahead of time!

Date: Tuesday, July 14, 7:30 p.m.
Place: Rimsky-Korsakoffee House, 707 SE 12th (the red house -- there is no sign)
Do I have to read Brain, Child cover-to-cover? No, but the more you read, the more we can talk. If we get enough "yes" responses, I'll order several copies from the publisher.

Respond, s'il vous plait, in the comments, and I look forward to getting all salon with a couple of other urbanMamas. Some of the articles are on the web site; you can purchase the magazine at several local bookstores and grocery stores.

What is your ideal Baby Shower?

I have baby shower on the mind of late, as I am well into our third pregnancy (my first pregnancy in Portland!).  So, I am excited at the thought.  I also came across an old thread, wherein we discussed whether it would even be appropriate to host a shower for a second-time mama, to which I say, "definitely"!  As this is our third child, I am not interested in showering baby with gifts.  I am more interested in showering baby with attention as we prepare to welcome him/her into our world.  We recently received an email also wondering about baby showers:

1. As a mama, what was your favorite part of the shower and why?
2. Where there any particular gifts/activities that you really appreciated?
3. Is there anyway to get papas involved?
4. Was there anything that you didn't like about the baby shower tradition?
5. Is there anything you would expect from a baby shower?

The Big Bang: Celebrating the 4th with Fireworks

Growing up, our backyard featured a great view of our neighborhood's fireworks extravaganza.  We'd have a bbq every year and set out lawn chairs.  Everyone would 'ooooh' and 'aaaahhh' over every bang.  Nowadays, with our kids, I feel a bit less enthusiastic about watching firework shows on the 4th of July.  In fact, fireworks give me great anxiety, but that's a whole other story.

Do you, as a family, do the fireworks thing on the 4th?  If you do, where do you go?  An urbanMama recently facebooked us:

Where do you go to watch fireworks?  We have a 5-year old, and 2 year old twins. We were wanting to go downtown and thinking of taking the MAX, but really don't want to have to go into the large group with all the kiddies.  Any other ideas?

urbanPapas need friends too: Seeking SAHDs

For sure, we have many fewer conversations here on urbanMamas dedicated to the papas, which isn't to say that daddyhood isn't important!  But, we know there are dads who are faithful readers of urbanMamas.  An urbanPapa recently emailed seeking paparaderie with other stay-at-home dads (SAHDs):

Are there dads lurking on the urbanMamas site who have advice for a new dad who's at home with his daughter? Do stay at home dads meet up anywhere in Portland?  My partner just happened to be finishing an engineering program just as the economy tanked.  I've been back at work for two months, while he's full time at home with our five month old daughter. We'd love to hear from other dads who by choice or circumstance are taking care of the kids.

If there are papas out there who'd like to get together for a SAHD gathering or a daddy gathering, please let us know!   We can help facilitate getting that group together.

What to do when you're not so fond of your child's friend

Childhood friendships can be so sweet, but what if you find yourself in a situation when your child is associating themselves with a purported "bad apple".  How do you deal with this situation?  Paige recently emailed us for your advice.  She writes:

I'm excited summer's here but not so excited about the fact that this means that my son's new friend (and also one of our neighbors) will be a constant presence.  Up until now, I've been very fond of my son's friends and happy to have them running amok, but I am not so fond of this new friend. Just today the ideas that the new friend had including introducing him to using questionable language and ideas such as taking his money to buy ice cream.  These were ideas that I happened to be within earshot of hearing.  While I think these ideas in itself do not inflict himself harm, he's 6 years old and these are choices that I am not quite ready for him to make on his own.  I am also not so thrilled about the negative influence that this child has on my son.  Have you found yourself not so fond of your child's friend?  If you have, do you let it go, or do you set limits on those friendships? Also, how do you go about setting those limits on a friend who constantly invites himself over?

Recommendations for non-DEET bug repellent?

Now that the summer appears to be here, we start to think of the bugs.  An urbanMama recently emailed:

We're heading over to La Pine for the 4th of July and my relatives have warned me of the monstrous mosquitos that are waiting to devour my 2 year old and me (I'm pregnant). Does anyone have any good recommendations for non-DEET bug repellent that actually works?

WEEKEND WARRIORS: June 26-28

If you're looking for some out of town activities this weekend, just 45 minutes east out the gorge is Sternwheeler Days (held ay my kids favorite playground ever) and right across the Bridge of the Gods (driving over this bridge is an event in itself) is the Brews, Blues, and BBQ in Stevenson, WA.  Both events promise great food, music, and plenty of kids activities.

Friday 

Ladybug Walk: A guided 60 minute walk around Lents Park for preschoolers, no registration necessary, $3 per child. 10:00-11:30 am.

Story & a Stroll: Enjoy a short guided walk that involves education about fox. Targets kids 3-6, rain or shine. Pre-registration required. Tryon Creek State Park, 1:00-2:00 pm.

Summer Kick-off Celebration: Portland Parks and Recreation has lots of activities planned to keep the kiddos happy and entertained this summer. Come sample some of what they have to offer, including the games, crafts, free swimming at the outdoor Montavilla pool, climbing wall, and much more. Montavilla Park (82nd and Glisan). 11:00 am-2:30 pm. 

Games at the Library: Drop in to play some board games, including Chutes and Ladders, Apples to Apples Kids, chess and Mastermind. There will be lots of games for preschoolers as well.  Children 10 years and younger. Central Library, 2:00-4:00 pm. 

Saturday

Ladybug Walk: A guided 60 minute walk around Hoyt Arboretum for preschoolers, no registration necessary, $3 per child. 10:00-11:30 am.

Paper Crowns: Join staff from SCRAP and use reclaimed art supplies to craft an elaborate paper crown.  Free. North Portland Library (512 N. Killingsworth), 11:00 am-1:00 pm.

Good in the Neighborhood:  A multicultural music and food festival, this lively event promises both from around the world. Starts off with a  parade on Saturday at 11:00 am, leaving from Dawson Park. Kidspace activities are daily from 12:00 -6:00 pm and will include face painting, crafts, bounce houses, and more. King School Park (400 block of NE 6th).  Activities start daily at noon.

Eastmoreland Garage Sale: If you missed the Laurelhurst garage sale last weekend, here's another chance to score a few bargains. With over 150 homes participating, that shouldn't be hard. Saturday  8:00 am-5:00 pm and Sunday 8:00 am-4:00 pm.

Lorna Miller's Little Kids's Jamboree:  Join Lorna Miller as she entertains adults and kids with music, rhythm, and movement.  $5 per family. Mississippi Pizza (3552 N. Mississippi), 4:00 pm.

Sunday

Family Sundays at the Portland Art Museum: Every Sunday in June, visitors of all ages can create their own art inspired by the Grand Ronde Center for Native American Art (from 1 to 3 p.m.), take family tours of the galleries (at 12:30 p.m.), and listen to stories (from 2:30 to 3 p.m.). Free for children under 17, adults are $10. 12:30-3:00 pm.

Professor Banjo: A Portland favorite when it comes to old-time music, Paul Silveria performs for children as the banjo-slinging "Professor Banjo" entertaining children with sing-a-longs and dancing games accompanied by lively old-time music that parents can enjoy, too! Airplay Cafe (701 E. Burnside) $5 per person, $10 per family. 5:00 pm.

Preparing for baby's departure from hospital

Remember the day you went home with your newborn baby?  Did you have everything you needed?  Were there things you forgot?  An expecting urbanMama wonders:

I am having a baby in late July, my first, and I am trying to be as prepared as possible to go to, and then leave, the hospital.  I have heard that hospitals have some specific requirements for letting you go home with your baby, such as having baby clothes that have been previously washed, and stringent requirements for the car seat.  I will be delivering at Good Samaritan in Portland.  Has anyone had experience with these kind of requirements?  These are things that they don’t seem to really tell you before you get there, so I am hoping to learn from the wisdom of those who have gone before me!

Dating as a Single Mama: Do you involve the kids?

Single mamahood has its unique challenges, one of which involves how much (if at all) to involve our young ones.  An urbanMama recently emailed:

I have been a single mother since before my daughter was born, so I have been raising her 24/7/365. She has always had men in her life, one especially who is a father-like figure, and has been an on-and-off partner over the years. Currently, we are just very close friends. But recently, I have met someone and I think that it could lead to some sort of ongoing relationship (I’m not counting my eggs before they hatch…) and I am wondering about how to deal with this with my almost-4 year old. She has been included in several get-togethers over the past couple of weeks, and seems to be handling it ok, but she may not be aware that we are anything more than just new friends. I have single mom friends who date, and everyone seems to handle it differently. Some keep their parenting lives and their dating lives completely separate, which I imagine would be easier for those who share custody and have some time to themselves without having to find a babysitter each time. Others include their kids in the relationship from the beginning. Some concerns I have are how this new friendship will affect my daughter’s relationship with our close male friend, and also how it will affect her if he becomes part of our lives, and then the relationship ends at some point (as many relationships do….). I am feeling all sorts of guilt related to my daughter and my relationships and I don’t want to stress her out too much. But I definitely want to see where this new friendship is going to lead, because Mama is definitely having some fun!  Can anyone give me some guidance from their personal experience with dating as a single mom?

Oh, TV, how do I love thee?

Let me count thy ways! I love you when it's 5:45 am and all three of my children are awake and I've had not more than 2 consecutive hours of sleep all night.  I love you when I'm trying to put my youngest down for a nap and the two boys are a t each other's throats.  I love you when I've spent 11 hours straight with all of my children and am trying to get a dinner for them on the table while willing my husband to walk in the door from work.

But in all seriousness, this mama is trying to reduce her TV-dependent ways.  I feel fine about the content (mostly PBS and Noggin), but on any given day, my kids could get 90 minutes of television given the scenarios above.  Something that I'm not sure will actually harm them, but it causes me more guilt than I'd like, so we're weaning ourselves off the boob tube.  Mamas, how do you deal with moments like the ones above where a parent might be tempted to just turn on the electric babysitter?

Sunday Parkways 2009: How was it for you?

This year's Father's Day coincided with the second annual Sunday Parkways, the first of three.  We started the day by hosting a little pre-ride gathering where families from the neighborhood & beyond came by to check out one another's bike gear, test it out, and let the older kids ride solo on a one block stretch of the parkways near our house.  For me, the most magnificent aspect of this year's Sunday Parkways is how completely comfortable I felt letting our girls, ages 5 and 8, bike alongside their friends, aged 6 to 9, well ahead of us.  We had few worries about oncoming motor vehicles.  They didn't want to stop!  They kept pedaling and pedaling and pedaling along.   The crowds were not too thick, so they were able to maneuver quite easily.  The route was relatively flat and intersected with just a few major intersections, where the kids knew to stop and wait for direction from the officers directing traffic.  Really - they would have ridden the entire 7.5 mile loop again if we'd've let them!  It was a great exercise in freedom and independence on our neighborhood streets.  It felt wonderful to see the community taking full advantage of the opportunity.

Apparently, with all our riding around, we missed plenty of action, from music and free tune-ups to bike play parks and more.  Check out the complete coverage on bikeportland.org.

Zinemama in a comment on another thread mused:

I'd love to hear other folks reactions to the Parkways. It felt a lot shorter than last year and a lot less crowded. It was fun, but for me some of the excitement about last year's event was missing. Maybe we were there at the wrong time of day (earlier in the day)?

Did you walk, bike, or play at last weekend's Sunday Parkways?  How was your experience?  If you weren't able to make it, there are still two more Sunday Parkways planned: one on July 19th in Northeast Portland and one on August 16th in Southeast Portland.  And, please, consider volunteering for Sunday Parkways.  The event's success relies on the contribution of many, many volunteers.

Reminder: Working Mamas Lunch on Thursday, June 25

Don’t forget to attend, or you can still RSVP for the Working Mamas Lunch.

When: Thursday, June 25 @

12:30

Where: Mama Mia Trattoria (www.mamamiatrattoria.com)
439 SW 2nd Avenue
503/295-6464

Reservation under Courtney/urbanMamas.

Happy Father's Day! Celebrate with kids, or without?

On Mother's Day, I scored a few hours alone to go to the farmer's market, and as I wandered around shopping on my own, I watched other pregnant women and women who looked vaguely mama-ish, wondering: would we rather be with our kids, or alone, on this day that celebrates us? I already missed my kids, especially on this day, when having them along would prove that I was one of the laud-ees. (Why I need to prove that, I can't explain.) I decided I'd rather be around them, and hurried home to hang out with my sweet boys and eat market goodies.

Today is Father's Day, and someone on my Twitter stream was musing about whether she or her husband deserved the day off; June 21 is her birthday. I immediately thought, neither, isn't celebrating with family what these days are all about? but held my tongue (or fingers); maybe she just meant "day off of cleaning the dishes."

Another dad I follow, though, said he thought Father's Day was a day for dads to spend with their kids. I began to reflect that it's far more common to give mom a day alone on her day, whereas it's more common to have dad+kid activities on dad's day. Given the long experience in our culture of domestic/career divisions with its conventionally-assumed distribution:mom's making breakfast and folding laundry, dad's putting on his tie and readying for a commute; these days have traditionally sought to change that dynamic for 24 hours.

But in our progressive 21st century culture, the facts have changed... right? Dad's doing laundry, mom's often commuting, but most of us still spend Mother's and Father's Days the same as when we called our parents "mother" and "father" (at least on TV). How is it in your house? Does dad celebrate by going on kid-tastic adventures, or does he go out and hang with his daddy friends? Or is it a big family barbecue -- and does dad man the grill or sit back and drink rootbeer floats (my own dad's fave)?

For the record: today, we're making one of my husband's favorite breakfasts, huevos rancheros burritos, and later we'll all be going on what I think is the best Pedalpalooza ride of all: the Unimproved Ride Road. How about you?

WEEKEND WARRIORS: June 19-21

There's lots to celebrate this weekend between papas, grads, and summer solstice.  Here's a few ideas to get you out and about.

Friday

Games at the Library: Drop in to play some board games, including Chutes and Ladders, Apples to Apples Kids, chess and Mastermind. There will be lots of games for preschoolers as well.  Children 10 years and younger. Central Library, 2:00-4:00 pm. 

Kidical Mass: Join other families around town for a kid-friendly bike ride. Bring lights, snacks, and helmets, of course. Rides leave from downtown (North Park Blocks)and Sunnyside Park (SE 35th and Taylor). Both rides meet up at 5:30 pm and leave at 6:00 pm.

Saturday:

NE Broadway Scavenger Hunt: Bella Stella is hosting a family-friendly scavenger hunt at NE Broadway businesses to celebrate the opening of their big kid resale store. Solve the riddle at each spot on the map and head back to Bella Stella for a prize! Those who complete the quest will be entered in a drawing to win a gift basket with prizes and gift certificates from local merchants.  Starting at 11:00 am, pick up your map at any participating business (see website).

Berry Jam: This celebration of Oregon strawberries will entertain all with hayrides to the berry fields, facepainting, music (Trashcan Joe and New Iberians), strawberry shortcake, jam making demonstrations, fresh roasted corn, coffee, and all the temptations of the Kruger's Farm Market. Yum!!  Saturday & Sunday, 11:00 am-4:00 pm.

Laurelhurst Garage Sale: Bring your cash and your wagon and get up early! The map is online, descriptions will be activated Saturday at 8:00 am.  Sale runs from 9:00 am-4:00 pm.

Kicking Hunger: This festival to benefit the Oregon Food Bank is trying to break the current world record for the longest kickball game (24 hours, 15 minutes) by playing for 30 straight hours.  The festival open to the public during daytime hours will include a variety of arts/crafts, food & beverage, and information vendor stands. Overlook Park (N. Freemont & Interstate), game begins at 10:00 am Saturday, ending 4:00 pm. Sunday (see website for music/vendor hours).

Crafty Mamas Bazaar: Come support your local crafty mama! In addition to a great mix of locally made goods, there will be treats, activities, store specials and giveaways!  Free chair massages for mamas from noon-3:00 pm. Milagros (5433 N. 30th Avenue), 11:00 am-3:00 pm.

Sunday

Sunday Parkways: The event we've been waiting for since last year, this closure of public streets through North Portland neighborhoods is perfectly timed for Father's Day.  Two individual loops will connect for a total of 7.5 carfree miles for biking, walking, running, skating, skipping, and whatever your carfree self can come up with.  Activities, vendors, and music will be clustered at the various parks along the route.  9:00 am-4:00 pm.

Junior Rangers: Kids ages 6-12 can learn how to help protect our natural resources, plants and animals. Participating in nature games, nature crafts and park explorations will help junior rangers earn their badge.  Free. The Saturday topic is bees, Sunday it is the fish of Tryon Creek. Tryon Creek State Park, Saturday and Sunday, 1:00-2:00 pm.

Summer Solstice at Tryon Creek: This free event will help capture the magic of the year’s longest day with Solstice-themed storytelling, guided forest hikes showing you the best of what Tryon Creek has to offer, and will be topped off with a search for the Tryon Creek Solstice Tree. The event is all-ages. Tryon Creek State Park, 6:00-8:00 pm. 

In which I drive a hybrid Ford for a weekend

Most of you know my family is fully car-free (we finally got rid of our three-years-lying-fallow car last month). And at least one of you expressed shock to hear I was test-driving a Ford Escape hybrid this past weekend. Was the world coming to an end? No, the people in Ford's social media group are working to create buzz about their hybrids by offering 'em to mama bloggers for test drives, and I was an eager participant. So was my husband, who, though he was weaned from his mother's chauffeur services on his 10-speed, and actually spent some time in the early '90s as a bike messenger, is a bit of a car addict.

One of the reasons I was eager to forgo our car was his nasty habit of driving to Trader Joe's... three blocks away. But when we found out he'd be going to Iraq this summer; changing our financial situation from just north of "desperate" to a few ticks shy of "flush," he began to sneak this phrase into conversation: "I've been thinking when I come back, we could use some of my money to get a hybrid..." Or this one: "If I get that job as a cop I could drive to work in a hybrid..."

"No!" I'd say, firmly. "No cars!" I love the money we save, $200-300 per month just in gas, insurance and tags; I love that we have to think carefully about all our bike trips, keeping us closer to home; I love my conscience, clean as the air around me as I bike. I've made a significant reduction in my workload so I can spend more time with the kids, in the garden, cooking food; we don't have room in that budget for even the barest car expense. I don't want that to change.

But. I'm all for a test drive. Just to see. Thursday morning, some nice people from Ford delivered us the sparkliest Escape Hybrid you've ever seen. I immediately hopped in with Truman and Monroe to pick up some film on the way to preschool (an impossible task on the bike; my fave film store is Citizen's Photo, about 4 miles from home). They leave us with a rundown on our car... $33,725 including "destination and delivery" for the model in our driveway. But "THIS VEHICLE NOT FOR SALE," said the page. At least there's that...

Cupcakes & ice cream & pie...oh my!

I had one of those moments of parenting clarity the other night when my six year old asked, "Mama, what's for dessert tonight?".  An innocent question, but very telling of his mother's love of sweets and how often we eat them in our house.  While I make sure that my kids eat balanced meals and get plenty of healthy foods, I'm also pretty liberal with the daily baked goods and the ice cream treats (good thing that chocolate and candy don't do it for me or we'd really be in trouble). 

It's kind of incongruous given that I examine the hidden sugar content of all of our grocery purchases pretty carefully, but maybe I'm just subconsciously trying to make room for all the other sugar I'm giving them!  I love making (and eating!) muffins and cookies together, picking my son up from school and going to Saint Cupcake, or telling the kids we're going to Staccato Gelato after dinner. I rationalize all of this  a bit by making them share or giving them minuscule serving sizes.  So mamas, what is the sugar philosophy in your household? Just for special occasions or part of the daily diet? 

WEEKEND WARRIORS: June 12-14

Friday

East Portland Multicultural Fair: East Portland Neighborhood Association presents a music and food festival with live performances by Maharlika Dance Troupe, Danza De Los Viejitos, Ekome, Leonid Nosov, Cosecha Mestiza and Conjunto Alegre. Free, Hazelwood HydroPark (1017 N.E. 117th Ave.), Noon-6:00 pm.

Happy Hour & Family Dinner Concert: Come hear the "folk innovation" of Andy Simon while relieving yourself of dinner preparation olbigations, if you so chose (at the very least, a beer and some music first might make it more tolerable). Free, Airplay Cafe (701 E. Burnside),  5:30-7:00 pm.

Saturday

Felty Finger Puppets: Use felt, fabric, wool yarn, buttons and other embellishments to create your own charming finger puppets. Artist Shanon Scholian will show you how in this two hour workshop. Free, N. Portland Library (512 N. Killingsworth), 11:00 am-1:00 pm.

Set Sail:  A High Seas Adventure on the Creativity Cruise Line. Ahoy mates! Join Captain Curt, of Slightly Illusional, for a high seas adventure in creativity this summer. The activities director has lined up tons of fun activities for our cruise – amazing tricks, hilarious puppets, and tons and tons of audience participation. Free, Albina LIbrary (3605 N.E. 15th Ave.), 11:00-11:45 am.

Cirque du Cycling:  A benefit for nonprofit Self-Enhancement Inc, this cycling extravaganza includes a free three-mile family ride, "kid zone", art bike parade,    live music, a beer garden, two-way street racing and exhibitors.  Mississippi Avenue, check website for locations and times.

Jr. Rangers Program: Kids ages 6-12 can learn how to help protect our natural resources, plants and animals. Participating in nature games, nature crafts and park explorations will help junior rangers earn their badge.  Free. The Saturday topic is the cycle of water, Sunday it is "alien invaders". Tryon Creek State Park, Saturday and Sunday, 1:00-2:00 pm.

Safety Saturday: Learn valuable safety lessons and fire department history by exploring the old Belmont Firehouse. Hands on activities include sliding down a fire pole! Plus Sunnyside Park, Laughing Planet, and Saint Cupcake are all just a block away! Belmont Historic Firehouse (900 SE 35th), 10:00 am-3:00 pm.

Lone Fir Cemetary Tour: What better time to tour this beautiful and serene spot than a sunny Saturday. The tour highlights Portland’s founders, early pioneers and nationally renowned figures as well as some unusual monument art. Suitable for all ages, $10 suggested donation, no registration required. Lone Fir Cemetary (Morrison and SE 21st Avenue), 1:00-3:00 pm.

Lorna Miller's Little Kids's Jamboree:  Join Lorna Miller as she entertains adults and kids with music, rhythm, and movement.  $5 per family. Mississippi Pizza (3552 N. Mississippi), 4:00 pm.

Light up the World: This moving event might be a little past bedtime for the younger set, but might be worth a late night for the slightly older kids. A multicultural dance show choreographed by the International Union Club, a group of Cleveland High School students. The show includes 13 dances from around the world -- including samba, tango, belly dancing, hip hop, and others -- to raise money and donate the proceeds to the Children's Cancer Association. Miracle Theater Group, $5 per person, 8:00-9:00 pm.

Sunday

Lents Bike Boulevard Ride: Join families and neighbors on a Bike Boulevard Ride to the opening day of the Lents International Farmers Market.  There will be helmet fitting (with limited free helmets) and a kids bike safety class (ages 8-12).  Kelly Elementary (9030 SE Cooper). 10:00 am.

Oaks Park Summer Kick-off: Nothing says summer is here like an afternoon on the midway. Discounted ride bracelets (print coupon from website) and live entertainment all day. Oaks Park Amusement Park, noon-10:00 pm.

Milagros Family Supper: The topic for this monthly chance to meet, greet, and learn will be hiking with kids. Bring your ideas for great local family hikes as well as a vegetarian dish to share and utensils. RSVP with your name and number in your group to rsvp@milagrosboutique.com.  Milagros (5433 NE 30th Avenue), 4:30-6:30 pm.

Family Dance Party:  Get down to your favorite tunes from the 70's and 80's and see your own moves reinvented by your kids. Dance contests for all ages. Free glowsticks for all, plus the usualy family-friendly dinner menu available. $10 for the whole family. Airplay Cafe (701 E. Burnside), 5:00-7:00 pm.

Rated G: Does it work for you?

As a mama that loves movies, I have been itching for quite some time to get my 4 and 6 year old sons to a movie theater with me.  I envision it as a fun activity that the three of us can do together (the dark theater, the popcorn, the previews!) since my husband couldn't care less about what's on the big (or little screen).  But the problem has been finding a movie that I feel completely comfortable in taking them to.  I never imagined that it would be this hard.  It seems like every "kid movie" out there has some sort of plot line that is over their heads, aimed at entertaining the parents in the theater. 

I just wish that they would make a movie that is truly for kids.  One that doesn't use potty talk as humor (really, it's enough of a problem in our house as it is), teasing, rudeness, or violence.   I've been hopeful a few times in the last year when a couple of rated G movies have been released (WALL-E, Earth), but when I take a peek at Common Sense Media, other parents have commented in ways that have made me decide the movie wasn't for my kids, right now anyway.

Maybe I just need to lighten up and take on some of the rated G movies as having teachable moments.  But I'm curious...how do you handle film content and your young kids? Do you take them to the theater or just say home and watch a video?