Bill Maher: I think I hate you

On September 8, 2007, nursing mamas in 105 locations in 38 states participated in a nurse-in, "after a breastfeeding mother was treated poorly by Applebee's on both local and corporate levels."  On September 14, 2007 Bill Maher, on "Real Time with Bill Maher", spent a good part of his opening comments elborating how he thought breastfeeding in public was narcisistic and inappropriate.  See the whole thing here (and forward to the 7:00min point).

He said, "Breastfeeding a baby is an intimate act, and I don’t want to watch strangers performing intimate acts…” He equates breastfeeding, a “natural” act, with masturbating, also an “intimate”, “natural” act.  Making it sound like breastfeeding is some fad, he speculates, “Next thing, mothers will want to give birth in the waterfall at the mall.”

If we mamas nurse in public and are not decent about it, we are “lazy to either plan ahead or cover up.”  To the mothers who nurse publicly, he says you are “fighting for the spotlight that you surely will get when you go 'Janet Jackson' on everyone."  And, finally, he winds down with “Only in America do women think they deserve a medal for having a kid," and he suggests that even dogs can have kids (so are we all dogs?)  He closes with “it’s about how petty and parochial our causes have become, how activism has become narcissism..... There is a place where breasts and food go together, it’s called ‘Hooters’”.

Cyberspace is teeming with anger with his comments, just google "bill maher breastfeeding" to find mamas and others around the country who are writing about it.  I try not to be hypersensitive when it comes to comedians trying to make a buck and tell a joke, but Bill Maher goes too far and is offensive, obscene, misogynistic, completely outta line.  Local mama Bridget is preparing a statement to send to HBO, and you can email her at billmahermustapologize@comcast.net to add your name to petition.  Are there other ways we can express our views? 

Here is an excerpt from the transcript, for those of you who want all the gory details:

Last week, the world’s first “Nurse In” was held to protest the case of a woman who was breast-feeding in public, and asked by an Appleby’s manager not to leave, but just to cover up a little bit. Because the wait staff got tired of hearing, “I’ll have what that kid’s having.” [laughter] [applause]

Look, I’m not trying to be insensitive here. I know your baby needs to eat, but so do I, and this is Appleby’s, so I’m already nauseous. [laughter]

Breast-feeding a baby is an intimate act, and I don’t want to watch strangers performing intimate acts. At least not for free. [laughter] It cheapens it. [laughter] But breast-feeding activists – yes, breast-feeding activists, called “lactivists” – say this is a human right and appropriate everywhere, because it’s natural. Well, so is masturbating, but I generally don’t do that at Appleby’s. [laughter] [applause] Not in the main dining area, anyway.

I mean, next thing, women will be wanting to give birth in the waterfall at the mall! [laughter] Look, there’s no principle at work here other than being too lazy to either plan ahead or cover up. It’s not fighting for a right. It’s fighting for the spotlight you surely will get when you go all “Janet Jackson” on everyone. [laughter] And get to drink in the “oohs” and “aahs” from the other customers because “You made a baby!” [laughter] Something a dog can do. [laughter] [applause] [cheers]

Only in America do women think they deserve a medal for having a kid. In China, women give birth on their lunch hour, and by the afternoon, they’re back on line, painting lead onto Barbie dolls. [laughter] [applause]

But this isn’t really about women taking their breasts out in public, as much as I’d like it to be. [laughter] It’s about how petty and parochial our causes have become, how activism has become narcissism. It’s why Al Gore can’t get people to focus on global warming unless there’s a rock concert. “Melting icebergs, brought to you by Smashing Pumpkins.”

It’s why there’ll be no end to this dumb war until there is a draft. Because, at the end of the day, Iraq is somebody else’s problem.

And, by the way, there is a place where breasts and food do go together. It’s called “Hooters.” [laughter] [applause]

Comments

[Shayla]

that is terribly depressing.
I dont understand how people can think like that?

[Kristin]

I think for some men, unless breasts are available to them, they can't see any other value. Ultimately, he's in a loosing position -- trying to tell a mother not to feed her child is like trying to pull down the moon, change the tides, or make the sun rise in the west. He's fighting a one of our most basic, affirming instincts.

I say we should ask him to refrain from eating in public himself! Only in the privacy of his own home, from now on. No more Hooters for him.

[Debby]

Does he have an open audience? Can anyone say "nurse-in?" Or I can see a public nurse-in outside his studio. It's sure to happen! I'm sure he is not expecting the public outcry his monologue is going to cause! I thought they had people they were supposed to pass their material by before they were able to use it...I guess no one thought it was a topic that required a "second-thought filter..."

[Kelli]

I know there are moms like me out there who simply cannot let others do our complaining for us. This is an issue that I believe can not be overlooked quietly and passively. The contact information for the Bill Maher show is quite convenient. Visit http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/

There is a "contact us" link at the bottom. You can choose which show you would like to email about and then compose your own message for HBO management.

[donaleen]

The REAL problem is our culture has forgotten what breasts are for... which is feeding babies. Men think they are for them.

[RubyTuesday]

I happened to see this on TV and at first I thought he was being sarcastic. Once I realized he was serious I was so completely disgusted and blown away! I don't know much about Bill Maher but I thought he was supposed to be a progressive. I am going to make some assumptions about him after watching this:
1. He was not breast fed.
2. He has a terrible relationship with his mother (and possibly his partner, if she's a woman).
3. He was a geek in high school and college and is still pretty upset about it (ie: never got the girl)
4. He got his heart broken by a woman who later went on to have a child with someone else and is now a lactivist!
5. He lives in NYC which is NOTHING like the west coast/Portland (not an assumption, but the cultural difference contributes to his ignorance)

[sarah gilbert]

this is truly disgusting. worst of all, I work for the same company as Bill Maher (at AOL, I'm also under the Time Warner umbrella) so the "I'll sell all my stock in protest" reaction makes no sense!

what I *will* do is send corporate communications a strongly-worded note. geez.

[Erika Plummer]

Having participated in the Applebee's event here in Portland I was so angry Friday night when I just happened to catch Bill Maher's show. My first instinct was thousands of us nursing Mothers should find out where he has dinner reservations and book the rest of the restaurant....and continue to do so until he retracts ALL of his remarks!

[sara]

that would be awesome Erika.

[Audrey]

I was livid and couldn't sleep well after staying up to watch my favorite show. However, having watched Bill Maher for as long as I have, I know he is most likely trying to see what reaction he can get, and it's unlikely he really cares as much as he let on. After all, he did show an awesome picture of a woman breastfeeding during his New Rules rant.
If anything, I think we could call him somewhat of a hypocrite for how he is so into natural, organic foods - and we all know that breastfeeding is the best nutritional start. The nutrition / food argument is likely the best approach, what do you think?
Also, knowing he is somewhat 'anti-kids' and never plans to have any, he really doesn't have babies' best interests at heart anyway. Really, Bill was just being Bill, but those remarks were not very libertarian.

[Mary Logan]

I just posted about this on a breastfeeding support board and on an attachment parenting support board. Also passed the info on to my family and friends. Oh I am so mad I am SHAKING. Maybe there should be a nurse-in on the Bill Maher show!!!!!! He should be sanctioned somehow by HBO... or by La Leche League... or forced to take a breast feeding class.

[Andrea]

Wow that clip was disgusting to me. I did make sure to e-mail in a comment and I hope that everyone else will as well. I believe that when people speak up on public tv, radio, etc... there is some level of responsibility to be educated about the topic. By the comments that Bill Maher made, it seems apparent to me that he is completely ignorant about this topic and had no business speaking out about it. It's one thing to educate yourself and to have a different opinion, and another to just publicly rant your thoughts on a topic you know nothing about.
E-mail in your thoughts...there is a lot of power behind those that speak up.

[joann]

yes he's a sarcastic comedian and says a lot of stuff to get a laugh, but what makes me sad about this, is i know a lot of women who are already incredibly self-conscious about breast feeding in public and the last thing they need to hear are comments like his. he sounds very out of touch.

[Kym]

I saw this on air last night. I want to go on record right here and now saying I found his remarks on the subject as abhorrent as the rest of you who've commented here. When it comes to women, I think Bill Maher ranges from idiot to misogynistic ass, who probably does have very difficult, if any, personal relationships with women.

Despite this, I watch with some regularity because he often invites interesting panel guests and gets them involved in political conversations I don't see anywhere else on television. I am radically opposed to this administration and the state of American politics and so I choose to support his show with my cable dollars because I want to hear someone talk about impeachment with people like Scott McClellan on a nationally broadcast show.

It sucks that the political discourse is accompanied by the sort of drivel he espoused last night on nursing. We should let him know he pisses us off. That said, I don't want a world where anyone who says something that makes me mad or that I disagree with is pulled off the air, no matter how stupid the remark might be. That feels too much like censorship to me. I'm sure that much of what I like about his willingness to speak his mind on issues I care about makes lots of other people equally pissed. I'm not trying to throw any bombs here, just my 2.

peace, kym

[Karli]

I just did a blog entry on the topic...

[Rebecca]

I do not even know what to say. Such much ignorance in our society, it is simply depressing.

[Jan]

Bill Maher is right. He didn't say you couldn't feed your baby in public. He just said cover up. I breast fed my son and I wouldn't have even considered doing it without covering up.

[Lea]

Kristin, what a great idea, "No public eating for Bill Maher".
Sorry, Bill. Sometimes we Mamas just forget, that boobs were meant to sell fast food and fast cars rather than nourish our young.

[emily]

so depressing! I think he said much more than just "cover up" -- he said that advocating in favor of breastfeeding is petty and breastfeeding in public is narcissistic. Well. . .I'm done with that show.

[Karli]

You can cover up for the first couple months, but then the baby pulls it away. Also, covering up takes away from eye-to-eye contact with your baby, which is so important.

[fionnsnana]

Jan,
Congrats to you to finding a way to feed your baby that worked for you and that you clearly are proud of. I am sorry that you feel like your way is the only right way to do it (?) Or really that anyone thinks THEIR way is the only right way...it just doesn't make any sense to me.

[Heather Bea]

Covering up just doen't always work. I was someone who was very self conscious about breastfeeding in public. But when my kids were hungry I fed them. To compare that to masterbating is absurd. I have never been a fan of Bill Maher, but he is entitled to his opinion. Let's just hope that someone is able to educate him just a little.

[lesa]

What sucks is that Bill Maher could have totally taken this another way and been a hero. He could have ranted about the absurity of asking someone to cover up when nursing in public, and how crazy our society is for glorifying breasts everywhere else but villifiying women for doing something that should be accepted as just part of daily life. He could have had the audience thinking in a different way (and isn't that what he supposedly trys to do on his show?) but instead he pandered to the ignorance of the audience, made enemies among moms everywhere, and didn't do anything to forward intellgent thought or discussion on this topic. Sad.

[Debby]

After watching the clip last night, it also appears he was talking about the absurdity of standing up for what you believe in when we should be doing what we can to stop the war. While I believe he is right about the war, who is he to judge what is an absurd stand to take? In the long run, the war will end someday (I think?) but breastfeeding has always been here and always will (except for a brief stint in the 1950's when formula propaganda was at it's highest). I really think he picked a poor example to make his point about the war. He did a whole bit on Brittany Spears just minutes earlier...maybe he could have talked about how instead of spending their time worrying about pop stars, Americans could be protesting the war? Nurse-ins actually serve a purpose, even if it doesn't to Bill Maher.

[laura]

Well, he certainly has gotten all of our attention. While I don't agree with what he is saying about public breastfeeding, I do agree that the overall American population just isn't engaged in other important issues such as global warming and war until it hits a personal note. Perhaps he is using relatively minor infringements on personal liberties at home to bring attention to our apathy toward the greater injustices in the world. It would be great if all of us mamas were as riled up and engaged with the atrocities happening to children and families in Darfur or South Africa as we are about not having the ability to breastfeed in public.

[bridget]

Thanks to those of you who have added your name to the petition. I am actually getting responses from all over the US! If you want to be included email name and city to: billmahermustapologize@comcast.net all emails are private and not shared with anyone.

Here is a copy of the letter that i have so far:

HBO,
Bill Maher must apologize for his offensive attitude toward women and their caring for their babies. His “new rule” about women not breastfeeding in public, comparing it to masturbation, or his comparing women having babies to dogs is misogynistic and we expect more from him and HBO. HBO has a reputation for being intelligent, creative, and sophisticated. None of these terms define Maher’s erroneous and ignorant rant on your airwaves September 14, 2007.
There is no reason for this type of hatred to be considered humorous and we hope that HBO will educate its public and its “comedian”. Maher should attend a class on breastfeeding so that he actually understands it role in human survival, or have Carolyn Malone, who sponsored the Breastfeeding Promotion Act, on his show.
Does Bill put a blanket over his head when he eats? Does he remove himself to a dirty public restroom to eat? If Bill can’t control his hormonal, physical, or emotional response when he sees an inch of the side of a woman’s breast while she feeds her child then he should get some therapy. His comments are disgusting, denigrating, prejudiced and inciting of hate and misunderstanding. His promotion of misogyny should be considered a hate crime.

[rockstar mama]

Look, Bill Maher is the guy who has styled mself as being "Politically Incorrect" and who said something publicly right after 9/11 that was taken at the time as being so inflammatory that a major network canceled his show outright (I can't remember what he said exactly - wasn't it about the al Queda pilots being "courageous?").

In other words, this is Maher's schtick: pissing people off in a big way and in a surprising way. Frankly, I find his misogyny no more stunning than Howard's Stern's, or any number of comics I could mention. And speaking of ol' Howard, where were all you ladies to fan the flames of righteous anger all the years that Howard Stern, his butt bongo, his lipstick lesbians du jour and his hookers had a tight grip on the mainstream male imagination? Gawd, what a pig.

In sum: Don't give Maher the attention/controversy he craves. He'll just find a way to make money off it.

[Kristin]

Bridget,

Great letter! I was with you all the way until the hate crime part, though. Killing, raping, beating based upon one's identity -- these are all hate crimes. Bill Maher is completely abhorent, but not in the same category as, say, Matthew Shepard's killers -- and I don't think he's promoting something that horrific. Other than that, the letter totally rocks.

[Kristin]

Bridget,

Great letter! I was with you all the way until the hate crime part, though. Killing, raping, beating based upon one's identity -- these are all hate crimes. Bill Maher is completely abhorent, but not in the same category as, say, Matthew Shepard's killers -- and I don't think he's promoting something that horrific. Other than that, the letter totally rocks.

[olivia]

I love the ideas of sending letters to HBO and other media outlets. I wonder what efforts are currently in effect in cyberspace.

I think Bill Maher just took his fun and jokes way too far. Motherhood is such a sacred part of my life, and - on the raw emotional level - it just plain HURT to have him tell me that my two labors and births are something a dog can do, or to have him tell me that I am just trying to get some thrills when I nurse uncovered in public, or to have him tell me that I want a medal for having kids. Well, F*CK yeah I want a medal. And some damn respect. I nursed, between the two girls, for 5.5 years. While I did it to nurture our relationship and did it some for me as much as them, it was also a huge sacrifice for me. Mamahood is so hard and so tough, and we all juggle so much in our individual situations - single mamas, married mamas, working mamas, stay-at-home mamas, all of us mamas. It hurts when the core of our mamahood is slaughtered like that, taken so lightly. For me, it was so personally painful. It was like a jab at my heart.

I don't want mamas to be portrayed in the media as narcissistic for nursing in public. I don't want birth and labor to be portrayed in the media as something that just happens, like a dog births a litter.

I would love to ask a mama supporter in the media - perhaps someone like Oprah - to support us in voicing our thoughts as mamas, to support us in not support these kinds of statements made in the media. Would she elevate the issue, dissuss it with a larger audience?