When does all the sickness stop?

With the cold, the wet, and the constant-on-the-go of the holiday season (or of our everyday lives), it is easy to wear down immunities. Is your child sick so often it feels like it's every other week? Every month? Does it get better? Is this how it is in sickness and in health? How do you make them feel better? Says Joan:

My son is 14 months old and is in childcare fulltime. We like the center's staff, philosophy, etc. Our conundrum: In all honesty, I think he has been getting sick (enough to have to stay home) roughly every other week. This has been going on for quite a few months and we are having serious difficulties figuring out what to do about our normal jobs. My husband is a full-time student and in the middle of a career change and is in a relatively entry-level job. He was lucky to get into the company (which he likes) and so although I have the much higher-paying, salaried job, I have been the one staying home with our son when he's sick. It is all getting rather tight-rope feeling though, as our son is sick again this weekend and we are now facing one or the other of us calling in sick again tomorrow. Eventually, I fear that one (or both) of our jobs will seriously become at risk. So we are wondering if my husband should just quit his job -- a bummer because he likes it and it was a good break. And, we don't want to over react. But what can we do? We don't feel that we can afford a nanny.

My main question for the urban mamas is: does this "getting sick ALL time in childcare lessen at some
point?" When they hit a certain age, does their immune system strengthen? I did nurse him until he was over 13 months, but that hasn't seemed to help in warding off illness.

Thanks for any insight. We are wondering if we should wait it out a little longer, if some respite from the bouts of illness is right around the corner.

Comments

[Meena]

I have a 3.5 year old son & 16 month old daughter in daycare full time. The 16 month old is much like your son - almost always has a cold/virus/infection. We're now on our 2nd ear infection (or else one long extended one). However, my son has hardly been sick at all this year. He too got sick a lot when he was under two. I'm not sure if this is typical, but I'm hoping my daughter follows in his footstep and is soon not constantly plagued with illnesses.

Breastmilk didn't appear to help my kiddos either - hopefully it helped reduce the number of illnesses, but I really don't know!

I completely understand about how hard it is to decide who is going to stay home. My husband and I switch off who takes the day off. He's lucky in that he owns his own business, so it's fairly flexible. However, sometimes he can't, and I have this yearning to be w/the kids when they're sick, so I take time off. But I don't have much leave accrued after maternity leave - so it's tight.

I think most workplaces are understanding about kids getting sick, parents needing time off, so I'd hope both of your bossses fit in that boat. This phase will pass. In fact, I would think we should be getting past the flu/cold season in 2-3 months.

Although not the optimal situation, so long as the kid is not excluded from daycare b/c of fever or other exclusion criteria, we send our kids to school when it might be better for them that we kept them home. We just can't afford to stay home with them as often as they get sick.

I wish you well, I know it's frustrating. Hope your son feels better soon!

[Julie]

FYI, my 19-month-old is going through the same thing and she's home with me! My pediatrician even asked if she was in day care since she's getting sick so much. It seems like every cold turns into an ear infection with her. And I, too, breastfed until very recently. I think the season combined with the age (under 2) is just rougher on some kids. My hope is that come summer we'll be over the worst of it for good. And as other, more experienced, moms keep telling me, this will ultimately be good in building her immune system.

[courtney]

I ran into the same problem with my son his first year of childcare. I think in addition to the cold weather, the fact that children are usually inside more doesn't help. My son's pediatrician said most children have a first rough year, whether it be age 2 and at childcare, or age 5 in their first of year school (if they stayed home with mom/dad). After a tough time of non-stop ear infections...my son has been healthy...hope I don't jinx myself!

[Laura]

my son started daycare right before he turned 2 (he's 3 now) and boy do I know your current pain...he was sick allll the time. My husband and I got sick more often than I think I ever have, too. I got walking pneumonia due to my battle-worn immune system being at an all-time low. But. This year? The kid hasn't had a single cold so far (knock on wood). Our pediatrician also said the first year of daycare is the hardest, and he was right. It does get better, so hang in there. When you pick up your child, both of you wash your hands before you leave the class (it'll help a little). And then, well, hang in. If you haven't taken them to a naturopath yet, I highly recommend it. Especially to try and avoid multiple antibiotic prescriptions. Just my opinion, though. Wish I'd taken my son sooner.
Good luck!

[debby]

The hardest thing for me with my 18 month old is the coming and going and unpredictability of the illnesses. You take one day off, go back to work and get a call at noon to come pick up the kid...and it's hard to always say it's day care, because there is only one other kid at my daughter's day care, and he hasn't been sick too much. I do think that when you stop breastfeeding, you do experience a rash of illnesses for a time as they develop their own immunity. But it's so hard to look into those little faces (especially when there is goop coming out of all the crevices) and deny them anything! When we are sick, we tend to suck it up and go to work, but we don't (mostly) do that for our babies, as we feel they need their mommies. I guess it's important to check out the kid-friendliness of any place you are anticipating working, and to just trust that you will get through this difficult period at the place you are working now! Good luck...I know my kid has been infection free for 10 days now (knock on wood!).

[Jen_PurpleMoon]

I hope this helps...as the owner of a Preschool it is extremely tough to keep illness out. I find that most children build up immunities within their first year. After that time, they are able to breeze through the more common colds and viruses that float through the school. Think about all of the sneezing, wiping the nose on the hand then grabbing the Playdoh, coughing that happens at school. Make sure your school follows and more importantly enforces their Health Policy (which is mandated by the State) in order to keep sick children out of school. If your school DOES strictly enforce their Health Policy, it will lessen the re-infection factor quite a bit.

Also, I don't take my kids to OMSI or the CM2 this time of year (sorry OMSI and CM2). It seems like every time I go, Moms/Dads get bored being home with their sick kids, so they get them out of the house for a bit...and guess where they end up?

Cold and Flu season typically lasts through Spring Break (sorry to say). Hang in there and keep healthy.

[Danielle]

I know this discussion is about colds, but
I found an interesting article on the flu when I took my baby to the Dr. for her checkup today. On his wall he had posted a copy of this article on how vitamin D can help prevent the flu. I thought it was interesting. Without much sunshine these days I doubt any of us are getting enough vitamin D.

http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20061111/bob9.asp

[Meliah]

just an FYI for those breastfeeding moms out there. definitely check out the vitamin D information. i recently found out from my pediatrician that they are discovering a rise in the number of cases of rickets among strictly breastfed babies, due to a lack of vitamin D. here in the NW with the lack of sunshine we experienc over the winter she recommended that we put my daughter on a vitamin D supplement until we introduced formula or foods.

[Murphy]

I have 3 kids and my oldest one is the one who would always pick something up. When he turned 3yrs it changed. He is in preschool and rarely gets sick now. *fingers crossed* that it stays that way!

I'm a stay at home mom and watch a few friends kids when they are sick. I feel my kids are going to get it anyways! We do a trade on babysitting and they handle the drop off and pick up of my son at preschool when their little one is with us. There may be a few stay at home moms out there that wouldn't mind doing a similar trade with you. Also you can look into a local church. I know a few churches have a list of "Grandmas" that are happy to look after children healthy or sick.

Hope that helps!

[olivia]

I don't so much have any advice, but just wanted to let you know that I empathize! When we first moved to Portland, Philly was 3 and I was very pregnant with Tati. My husband was traveling quite often, and we new very few people. I was working and would be called by the school office that Philly had a fever. School requires that the child be fever-free for 24 hours prior to returning to school. She was down with a fever 3 times every 2-4 weeks that autumn. Each time, her fever would run three days or so. It was hard being at a new job taking so much time off.

I attributed the sickness bouts to being in a completely new environment (we moved from thh East Coast) and new climate. Now our girls are 3 and 6 and we experience fewer illnesses. Come fall and through the winter, I push lots of water, fresh fruits & veggies, supplemental gummy vitamins from Trader Joes, and tons of rest, especially when they start to sniffle.

Healthy vibes to all!

[Joan]

We truly appreciate all your responses. We have gotten some ideas from your posts as well as a sense that we are not alone -- which is always comforting. We moved here after living nearly 9 years in Hawaii, so maybe the islands have somewhat different "bugs" that we are all getting used to.. as well as the climate. Thanks again!

[Sandy]

I have a 21 month old and experienced the same her first year in daycare. This year she has been sick free. As for your employer, depending on how large the company is you may be covered under OFLA (or FMLA, can't remember which). There is a provision in there about sick child days. You may want to check into it...

[Debby]

My employer has a policy that if you have 3 unplanned absences in one (rolling?) year, you get a verbal warning. This includes my sick time and my kid's sick time, as well as anything else that comes up urgently, such as a sick provider or a broken down car (knock wood, knock wood!). And, come to think of it, I'm not sure if it includes snow days (a timely subject!). This policy doesn't really apply to me as a social worker, although I have to live under it. It is intended for the direct care staff who need to be dependable on a day-to-day basis, and if they are out sick, patient treatment gets really mucked up. So even though I am not really missed if I am not there, I feel really guilty as my peers are really pressured to be there NO MATTER WHAT! AND I would still get the verbal warning, even if I am not missed. So therein lies the pressure...I make darn sure to get a note from my doctor or my daughter's doctor just in case, although I am not sure if that would really help much. Today, I read about the norovirus spreading across the nation leaving disaster in it's wake, so I am now carrying a little bottle of antibacterial hand gel in my pocket until the danger passes!

[Serena]

I agree that the first year of daycare is the challenge. When I taught kindergarten, the children who had been in daycare and preschool prior to kindergarten rarely got sick, while the ones who had mostly been at home were constantly out with sniffles and ear infections. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

[Leigh]

Hi there,
I am an ND with a focus on pediatrics (and am an urban mama myself!).
I have my patients do a few things in preparation for daycare...
1. Eliminate Dairy (opt for soy, rice or goat milk products)
2. Breastmilk more often
3. Thymactiv by NF (a gentle, safe immune stimulant for children) or a childrens herbal glycerite (wise woman herbals has a great one)
4. Probiotic powder like acidophilus
5. Plenty of sleep
6. Lots of handwashing
7. If you are still breastfeeding, make sure mom is taking prenatals and lots of vitamin C!

Hope this helps! Stay healthy!

[Katie]

...to add to the Urban ND Mamma-Doctor's list of day care defense:
Glyerine Echinacea Drops.
People's Co-op carries "Kid's Echinacea Plus" glyerine tincture in BULK. It's affordable, yummy, and helped my 2 yr.old daughter keep her colds to a minimum this winter, and recover faster. If/when the other kids in her childcare situation get sick, we do a few droppersful am and pm for a few days, to boost her immune system. And if she DOES get a cold, she has 2 or 3 droppersful, 2 or 3xs a day. I don't worry about her taking too much, it's good herby stuff.
and to echo the ND Mamma, no diary makes a HUGE difference with decreasing her and my snot production! My daughter loves a mixture of vanilla almond milk mixed with high-good-fat coconut milk (from a can), its so creamy good! espcially with a little bit of stevia for sweetness. SHe'll chug a cupfull and ask for more.
So those are our special cold remedies i wanted to share. stay well!

[AJ McCreary]

I too have a toddler that seems to get sick alot! Love the new ideas, thanks to all you for them!

Some things I didn't see already posted on here:
1. Ask you daycare to air out the facility, it will go along way in killing germs
2. Air out your house!!!!
3. Use a vaporizer all the time, everytime my little guy starts to cough or seems like he might be coming down with something, which is weekly, I have him sleep with his vaproizer on. The thing helps alot. I just use water and sea salt in it. No need for extra stuff.
4. Hylands homeopathic cold remedy is really good! We don't do traditional meds, those little dissolvable tablets do alot!
5. Build a network of stay at home people that can come hang with your kiddo or that you can take your kiddo to on those sick days! Between work and school...I sadly can not miss to many days. And if I don't work, we don't eat. I have three lists of sitters: emergency (days), evening/weekends, and the occasional overnight. I constantly am adding people and keeping my list updated.

Good Luck, I hope your kiddo feels better! Hang in there!

[Barbara]

I would just like to encourage folks to give their kids cod liver oil. We have been taking it for over a year and we have had zero colds in that time---three kids under 7 and dad's a public school teacher, too. We've had a couple of throw up sicknesses, but absolutely no colds or coughs. We had them regularly before.
I also encourage: probiotics (esp. kefir and yogurt) and raw milk. These things have changed our lives. I know it can take awhile to get used to the idea of these things---but do a little research (westonapricefoundation) and give it a try. I've seen so much wonderful change as a result of these dietary changes.