Political leanings: Do your kids follow you?

I've been buzzing about this week doing things with the Hillary Clinton campaign, and as Jonathan's out of town, I've been toting the boys with me. On Monday, we sat outside the campaign headquarters on our bike as they took a picture of us, holding Hillary signs. "I'm for Obama!" shouted Everett. I fought the urge to "shush" him -- he's for Obama because his daddy has given him several inspiring little campaign speeches.

Tomorrow, I'll be taking them to the big Mama Stroller-toting Rally for Hillary (more details on Activistas), and hopefully talking some sense into them beforehand. I'm not going to try to convince them that Hillary's their candidate, I'm just going to try to keep them from yelling "Barack... Obama!" in front of one of the politerati gathered for the event (I'm excited to see that Betty Roberts will be there).
When I was writing a bio for a piece on MOMocrats, I remembered how I was the only one in my class to "vote" for Reagan, and how much my parents' views influenced me.

Do you teach your kids to love the politician you favor? If you, too, have a divided household, do the kids agree with mama or papa? Or do you agree with the old adage, that neither politics nor religion should be discussed at dinner (or playtime)?

Happy Hour is for Mamas & Papas too

There are a fair number of us urbanMamas who like to have a glass of wine at the end of nutty days.  We received a recent email from a mama who wants to get out and enjoy deals on drinks and nibbles:

We have a tiny baby, only 5 weeks old, and she's very easy to take places right now (for the most part, with the occasional meltdown of course).  But pre-baby one of our favorite things to do was happy hour.  I am looking for places that we can go just after my husband gets off work at 5 and just get a drink, maybe a cheap happy hour snack.  Honestly, mainly a drink.  We keep hitting up the Laurelwood but I know there must be other places that we can go have a beer or two with no pressure to buy dinner.  On the east side is a plus.  Any ideas?  Thanks!

Where is your favorite happy hour spot in town that allows minors?

Finding a Babysitter You Trust

That first time leaving the kids with a babysitter can be nerve wracking.  For us, we started with trading with friends.  We slowly weaned ourselves from the "free" care to using my husband's co-worker, and her vast network of babysitting friends.  But when that became too hard on the pocket book, and now that the kids are older we use a teenage babysitter.  Andrea recently emailed us about finding a babysitter: 

Now that my younger sister just had her first baby this week, I've lost both her and the monopoly on my parents' time in terms of free babysitting services.  Considering that I've never left my three kids with anyone but family, I'm in mourning!   So for me, it begs the questions....how did you find the babysitters you trust?  Word of mouth?  Go through a service?  What are the thoughts on the age of who is watching your kids?  Is 13 old enough or do you only trust the grandma next door who successfully raised her own kids?  And last but not least....can someone who has never had kids successfully get a 9 month old, a three year old, and a 5 year old (who fight like crazy!) fed, bathed, and in bed? And if so, what are their names?? :-)

WEEKEND WARRIORS: May 9-11

Happy Mother's Day, Mamas!

Friday

Story & a Stroll: Enjoy a short guided walk that involves education about bees. Targets kids 3-6, rain or shine. Pre-registration required. Tryon Creek State Park, 1:00-2:00 pm.

Ladybug Walk: A guided 60 minute walk around Kenilworth Park for preschoolers, no registration necessary, $2 per child. 10:00-11:30 am

WEE-Post at the Waypost: Join other kiddos for a free reading of selected books and a related craft. The Waypost (3210 N. Williams), 11:00 am.

Mocha Moms: This weekly support group meeting (aka chat and plays) allows moms to discuss important parenting (and personal) issues while the children play. Mocha Moms is a support group for mothers of color. Anyone who supports the mission of Mocha Moms is welcome. Milagros, 11:00 am-1:00 pm.

Saturday

Parents for Paid Leave: Join this grassroots effort to pass a paid family leave bill in the OR 2009 legislative session. It's not too soon to lay the groundwork, mamas!  9:30 - 11 am, kids welcome.

Portland VegFest: Over 60 exhibitors offering FREE food samples and information on nutrition, environmental sustainability, and more.  Watch professional chefs demonstrate their favorite recipes, experts show how to reduce your environmental impact and improve your health.  Kids art, science, and craft activities. $5 entry fee ($1 off coupon on website). Benson High School (546 NE 12th), 10:00 am-6:00 pm.

Festival of the Birds: A free celebration of migratory birds that includes music, kids activities and crafts, storytelling, and of course guided bird walks. Sellwood Park, 10:00 am-4:00 pm.

Critter Creation: Regional artists will show you how to paint a ceramic mold of a dragonfly, butterfly, ladybug or snail. Free. Central Library, 2:00-3:00 pm.

Suncatcher Bugs: Using beads, pipe cleaners and imagination, create a sparkling bug to catch the sun through a window! Free. Northwest Library, 2:00-4:00 pm.

Peanut Butter & Celery Sticks: Paul's got a problem- his favorite snack attracts ants and flies and cockroaches. How will he get rid of them? Come hear his surprising solution, along with other stories and songs for the whole family presented by Rick Huddle.  Free. Belmont Library, 3:00-3:45.

Pirates and the Sea: Sing along with performer Alleyoop! as he shares songs of pirates and sailors. This interactive performance includes sea chanteys and stories too! Free. Gregory Heights Library (7921 NE Sandy), 3:00-4:00 pm.

AsiaFest: A celebration of Asian cultures featuring Taiko drummers, crafts, food, and entertainment. $3, free 6 and under. Oregon Convention Center (777 NE MLK Blvd). 11:00-6:00 pm.

Little Kids' Jamboree: Join Lorna Miller as she entertains adults and kids with music, rhythm, and movement.  $5 per family. Mississippi Pizza (3552 N. Mississippi), 4:00 pm.

Sunday

Hip Mama Mothers Day Party: Come celebrate the relaunch of this hip zine with a variety show fundraiser featuring music, readings, silent auction, a puppet show, and more.  Kids welcome. $5 suggested donation. The Watershed Collective (5040 SE Milwaukie), 5:00-8:00 pm.

Portland Children's Museum: Moms get in free for Mother's Day!

Pittock Mansion: Moms get in free for Mother's Day!

Recommend a smoking cessation program?

I am a mama who smoked both pre-mamahood and post-mamahood.  The only reason I stopped smoking as a mama is because I was pregnant with my second child, and I did not smoke during either pregnancy.  A good mama friend of mine smokes regularly still, and we talk about strategies on giving it up.  Associations, disassociations, breaking habits, finding alternative oral activites....  I know we are not the only mamas out there who have worked on making ourselves and our loved ones healthier by kicking the habit.  A mama recently emailed:

Does anyone have suggestions for a smoking cessation program? I am thinking of a naturopath that specializes in lifestyle changes like this.  A loved one secretly smokes (and chews) tobacco, doesn't exercise, doesn't eat right, doesn't sleep right, doesn't know how to deal with stress.  He's overweight and stressed out and less healthy each day.  He is the type of person that needs a lot of direction.  He is ready and he needs/wants a lot of help.  His priority is to quit the cigs and work on the rest as able. I have no idea where to send him for this help.  He would prefer natural approaches over medications.  Anybody want to share your experience of quitting smoking?  Any and all advice is appreciated.

PPS School Lottery: Results are In, Decision Time

Many mamas responded to the initial post about Lottery Winnings, now it's decision time.  We're you happy with the results? Some appear to be. Are you looking to connect with other parents?  You might want to wander over to Schools Forum and add your school if you don't see it listed. Maybe post about your schools upcoming events if you want to engage other parents, or comment about your child's experiences at their current schools.  Other parents are wanting to connect.  And for those who came up short, what is Plan B?

Tethered Spinal Cord & Helping with Understanding Blood Draws

We're always amazed to see support and stories for other mamas about their experiences with difficult medical situations.  Cindy recently emailed us about her child's diagnosis of Tethered Spinal Cord.  Have you experienced this? And can you give her some advice?

I am seeking information from your wonderful community.  I have a wonderful six year old boy (almost seven!) who has been struggling with potty training for most of his life.  We were finally referred to a Pediatric Gastroentologist about six weeks ago and found out yesterday that he likely has a Tethered Spinal Cord.  We have to confirm with a Neurosurgeon and discuss treatment options.  However, our doctor and apparently all of the information available on the internet, says that surgery is the only effective option.

I would love support on a couple of fronts.  First, has anyone gone through this surgery with their child?  We had to use General Anesthesia to do the MRI this week so I know he tolerates that anesthesia well.  The anesthesia for the surgery may be different.  I am also finding information on-line that says once nerves are damaged, there is no repairing them.  Does anyone out there know if he may, someday, have control over his bowels and bladder?

The other element I’m interested in is how to help my four year old through this chapter of our lives.  We had to have blood drawn on my six year old several weeks ago for this issue.  My four year old and I had to take him and I think the little guy was the most upset out of all of us.  He somehow has associated blood with dying and so any quantity greater than just a scratch really scares him.

Pdx City Council Candidates: Family-Friendly? You Decide.

You might recall that in the past month or so we were all busy having coffee with a bunch of candidates for city council seats 1 and 2.  Telling them what matters to us in case they get elected, and finding out whether they earn the family-friendly vote.  We're not endorsing a soul.  But we did ask all of the candidates we met with to tell us why Portland parents should vote for them - in 200 words or less.  My attention span is that short.  Read why the four candidates for Seat 1 that we met with think we families should vote for them.  Over on Activistas. 

Red Shirting Your Kindergartner-To-Be

When my sister mentioned she was red-shirting her son who has a July birthday, I thought nothing of it.  She felt he wasn't emotionally ready for kindergarten and waiting would allow him another year of maturity.  Andrea recently sent us this thought provoking email on delaying the start of kindergarten:

I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about kindergarten for my kids. My oldest is only 3, so I'm still wrapping my mind around preschool. But a friend of mine is a kindergarten teacher, and she recently told me about a growing trend where parents purposefully hold their kids back from starting kindergarten until they're closer to 6.  It's called "red-shirting", and I guess parents are doing this with the idea that their kids, if a little older, will be better able to handle the academic and physical rigors of kindergarten, and therefore outperform their peers. 

A number of issues around kindergarten are explored in this article from last year's NY Times Magazine.  One of which is the shift in our expectation of what children should achieve in kindergarten.  At one point in our not too distant past, kindergarten was geared mostly around play, and was only half-day to boot.  Now, we expect kids to start learning to read and write in kindergarten.  Play is all but disappearing from their school day.  In this sense, delaying your child's start to kindergarten makes sense.  If kindergarten is now what first grade used to be, it makes sense that kids would do better if they were closer to six when they began.  However, this is difficult if it is not uniformly applied.  One of many challenges with red-shirting is that teachers are forced to accommodate the skill differences reflected in the growing age divide of their students.  Another is that red-shirting is only really an option to those with the means to delay their child's start in school.  If you have the money to pay for another year of preschool, or the opportunity to stay home with them for another year, you can ensure they'll have a leg-up in kindergarten.  If you can't, you have to enroll them in a class where they are learning alongside children more than a year further along in their development. 

In response to red-shirting, and more general ideas about the benefits of delaying the start to kindergarten; a number of state's are contemplating changing their cut-offs, delaying them, so that their kindergarteners will be older, and later test scores more competitive with states with later enrollment dates.  I wonder, why is it that we changed our academic expectations of kindergarteners in the first place?  Only to now work on delaying when they start because they're not ready to meet those new expectations. 

Doesn't this represent a major shift from our previous conversations about this, and from the thinking when we were kids.  Until recently, it seemed more common for parents to fight to enroll their kids earlier than the age cut-off.  Sure that, even at the later end of 4, they were prepared to start school. 

What do you think?  Is there a "right age" for kids to start kindergarten? 

A mama and her vertigo

Katie emailed explaining a situation that coincides with her period and that has her wondering.  Has any one experienced this?  Does anyone have any suggestions for therapy or treatment of vertigo?

For the last 7 months, once a month during the week before my period, I've been getting a horrible, debilitating case of vertigo.  It comes on instantly with no warning and lasts anywhere from several hours to a couple of days.  When it hits I have to lie down immediately, can't move without vomiting, can't see clearly and often have trouble breathing.  I've been to my regular doc, the ER and to my OB (just in case it's hormone related) and so far, no one can give me any answers.  I have two young kids and I can't be incapcitated like this every month.  Has anyone experienced anything similar relating to their monthly cycle?  Or do you know of any vertigo specialists that could help?  I've tried all the standard meds as well as several homephathic remedies and nothing is working. 

I'm really hoping I can get some help/info from all of you because I'm getting very frustrated and discouraged with this situation. Thank you!!

Activistas is Facebooking: Join Us!

We talked about Facebooking awhile back, and I chuckled to myself since I'd never even considered it.  LInked In, sure, but Facebook?  Twitter?  MySpace?  Not this mama.  Too old, right??   But who says you can't teach old dogs new tricks??

So, now we're live @ Activistas Pdx.  Join the group.  Help us make it work.  One more way we can connect to make the changes we all want to see.   See you there, mamas.

Mama seeks Personal Trainer

How do you get your body back after baby?  Sunny wants to find a personal trainer:

I've finally decided I need a personal trainer in order to get back into shape.  After 3 children and absolutely no time to myself, I need someone to "kick my butt."  I figure if I'm paying for it, I can't make an excuse to not work out.  I think a female trainer who has children and understands the difficulties of getting our bodies back would understand my situation best.  And considering I've been recently diagnosed with hypothyroidism, someone who understands how much this affects the body would be a bonus.  Any recommendations?

What are challenges as a single parent?

In recognizing the diversity of urbanMamas, we know that we are not all partnered parents.  There are distinct challenges - emotionally, financially, logistically - to solo parenting.  We recently received an email from a mama wanting to discuss more and connect with other single parents:

I am looking to meet other progressive mamas who are parenting without partners at least part time. I'm going through a separation and feel like a sudden outsider in my mostly nuclear, hetero, married world. I would love to meet other mamas, gay, straight, or otherwise, who want to connect around the challenges of parenting solo.  What are the challenges you face? I find, for example, that it's hard to overcome the collective inertia to get out and do things when it's just myself and my child. Families don't seem to invite us out as much. I'm also feeling guilty about the pleasures of having some actual--gasp--time to myself each week. I'd love to hear what you have done to honor your needs and feel good as a mom who is not with-child-every-minute.

Are you interested in getting together sometime to discuss these issues of single parenting?